16/9/20 ASSIGNMENT 1, SUBMISSION 1 - A LETTER TO PROFESSOR BLACKSTONE

 Dear Prof Blackstone

Subject: A Self-Introduction by Dennis

 My name is Dennis, a graduate from Ngee Ann polytechnic currently holding a diploma in mechanical engineering.  During the curse of three years, I had a deeper understanding in the engineering field which increased my interest in engineering. Being an engineer often requires you to think out of the box, there is never a standard answer to a problem, different engineers can have different ideas that will lead them to the same goal. After hearing a professor telling me about Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services) program enthusiastically, I knew this program will help me achieve my goals.

 

My goals for this module are to eventually be involved in building projects, to look at a complete project knowing that I am part of the reason why this project is a success. 

My weakness is that I find it very hard to concentrate for long hours. Therefore, my study sessions always follow a 15 minutes work 30 minutes rest cycle. Long lectures will often result in me zoning out in the later part of the class.

 

In terms of strength I am a fast learner. This can be depicted in my final year project. I was given only a month to study about the mechanics and the system of a drone and come up with a drone design that can carry three payloads to drop at different locations. I have never flown a drone then, let alone had any knowledge or experience in drones but I managed to come up with a design within a month which was approved by my professor. 

 

I always seek joy in learning, I will always find a reason to have an interest in whatever that I am required to learn. I believe that this unique attitude will help me through University.


I sincerely hope this letter will help you have a better understanding of me and I look forward to learning more about communication under your guidance 

Best Regards,

Dennis Chan


Comments

  1. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 16, 2020 at 10:52 PM

    Thanks for the effort here, Dennis.

    I look forward to seeing feedback from your blogging group members and will comment after that, but I can say now that you seem to be missing the close for this letter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Donovan ChanSeptember 21, 2020 at 7:41 AM

    Dear Dennis,

    Thank you for writing this introduction letter.

    The content you have written covers most of the scope, however there can be improvements in the setence structure.

    Looking at it, the organization of content seems to be clear. Your strength stated is clear and backed with evidence. However, I think you need to touch up on your weakness.

    Overall, you did answer all the questions with a flow in this letter. Starting of with the weakness is really interesting. With some sentence structure correction, I think this letter would be great!

    With this letter, now, I know more about you. I enjoyed reading it.

    Thank you,
    Donovan Chan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dennis ChanOctober 4, 2020 at 2:22 AM

      Good evening Donovan,

      Apologies for the late reply.

      Thank you for your feedback, it will definitely help me to improve my writing.

      Regards,
      Dennis

      Delete
  3. Bryan WongSeptember 23, 2020 at 5:46 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bryan WongSeptember 23, 2020 at 7:07 AM

    Dear Dennis,

    Thank you for the introduction.

    I feel that the content of your letter is sufficient and you have covered most of the scopes.

    I liked how you quoted that " Being an engineer often requires you to think out of the box, there is never a standard answer to a problem, different engineers can have different ideas that will lead them to the same goal." which is very unique, however I believe that you could have elaborated more on how your interest in engineering developed.

    The flow and organization of your letter is smooth, except that there are a few typo errors in the first and second paragraph. Your strength is well backed up by the evidence you have mentioned, as for your weakness, i like how you brought up your study and rest cycle, however I believe that you could have elaborated on what you can do to improve on your said weakness.

    Overall, I enjoyed reading your letter and it has given me a better understanding of yourself. I hope that my comment will help you in improving your writing and I look forward to reading more letters from you in the future.

    Regards,
    Bryan Wong

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dennis ChanOctober 4, 2020 at 2:21 AM

      Good evening Bryan,

      Apologies for the late reply.

      Thank you for your feedback, it will definitely help me to improve my writing.

      Regards,
      Dennis

      Delete
  5. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 27, 2020 at 1:37 AM

    Dear Dennis,

    Thank you for sharing your story in this detailed, informative letter. It's good that we learn about you in terms of your background, interests, and your view of your own comm skills. It's good to know that you view yourself as a fast learner who develops joy for learning. It's interesting too that you were able to complete the study on a drone in such a short time. In this module you'll need that sort of skill and attitude as well. As you know, enthusiasm for your work will serve you well in study and in life.

    There are a few language issues that you need to address to make this letter more impactful:

    1. word/phrasing
    -- During the curse of three years three years... > ?
    -- I have never flown a drone then ... > (verb tense)
    -- 15 minutes work 30 minutes rest cycle >. 15-minute work 30-minute rest cycle

    2. sentence structure
    -- Being an engineer often requires you to think out of the box, there is never a standard answer to a problem, different engineers can have different ideas that will lead them to the same goal. > (comma splice/run on sentence)

    3. caps > see https://wmich.edu/writing/rules/capitalization

    We look forward to learning more about you and from you this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dennis ChanOctober 4, 2020 at 2:20 AM

      Good evening Prof Blackstone,

      Sincere apologies for the late reply and thank you for your feedback.

      1. A careless mistake on my part as I fail to spot an obvious mistake. The next two points are definitely learning points for me.

      2. I will refer to the template that you provide in google docs on the definition of the mistakes you pointed out.

      3. I will give the link a read and edit accordingly.

      Thank you Prof once again for your feedback, it really helps and I can only hope i will improve more in my writing in future.

      Regards,
      Dennis

      Delete

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